Bedtime is real and other habit stacking adventures.
Hello my Fluent readers!
Welcome to my blog - where I share with you my stories about multilingual parenting.
Today I am going to tell you the story of how the most distracted parent in the world (me), made a habit.
***trigger warning*** Dear caregivers, we are now getting into the dangerous territory of implied “shoulds” as parents - PLEASE KNOW - I in no way think there is a universal right way to do things. Me, believing I should do something does not mean that I think you should do something… So pat yourself on the back, you survived this far - and you will continue to do so… repeat after me: “I am doing a good job, I am doing a good job” - You are. If you made it all the way to this blog you're a damn good parent. ;) And so keep your goodness close to your heart and I will begin the story now…
As a young person I did my fair share of babysitting. I had kids of all kinds - twins, ODD, ADHD - German speaking, from family to foreign - have held all the babies, built a mean pillow fort and dangled youngin’s from one leg… **Listen, The parenting gig is rough out there - and parents need a break from parenting (a job that doesn’t actually pay very well by the hour, in case you haven’t noticed.) Kids need another trusted adult that they can learn and grow from. Babysitting is a win/win.
None of these long hours of training prepared me for the god-like zen focus required to get my own baby into bed. And asleep. Nothing annihilates a tired parent more than rocking a baby to sleep for 5 hours or asking a kid to brush their teeth for the millionth time. I joke - but it can be quite a chore at the end of a long day. (I see you parents. I see you)
When I first understood my ordeal, I immediately needed hacks. Scouring the internet for blogs as credible as this one - in that they were singing the truth of my exact pain - I discovered a brave new technology. THE BEDTIME ROUTINE. According to the internet (and probably a parenting book I read in the half-conscious early days of becoming a parent) if you put your child to bed at the same time each day, doing the same activities in the same order… your child will fall asleep faster. (Can you hear the angels singing?)
We were early adopters.
In the early days this hour-long dance was: a bath, pajamas, a book, a song and then a cuddle to sleep.
Later it became: bath, brush teeth, pajamas, 3 books and then a 10 min cuddle.
When reading books as much as possible we tried to do the “one person one language” approach. But it slowly turned into - B picks the books and we try to read said book in said language. (I'll talk more about “one person one language” and different strategies for language learning in a blog post to come.)
I forgot to mention how the consistent routine is probably the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Harder than child labour? I am just not a consistent person! It goes against everything in my nature.
That’s not really the point - the point is -I committed to 5 minutes a day of reading in another language. Only 5 minutes a day is 30 hours a year! And for a baby human who spends most of their time sleeping, eating and creating liquids for you to dispose of…. 30 hours is a significant amount of time. Do 10 minutes one day and forget the others - the point is your small child will absorb the language like a sponge - leaving you free from trying to actively teach a language to your child who loves to resist your saintly parental intentions.
What we liked about it, was that by the time B got older he didn’t mind that we were reading in languages he didn’t know - When I read to him in German (which I barely ever did as a small one) he complains. However - for Moroccan/Arabic and French - he's good to go.
That's my pitch. Take it or leave it. What do you think - Do you like reading to your child in your tongue? What are your strategies for reading to them?
